Angie’s ramblings – A step back in time

Angie’s ramblings – A step back in time

Let me take you back in time.  This week, I was having a sort out and came across the following diary entry.  It was certainly an emotional read looking back.

Dear Diary

29th October 2007

10 months ago I woke full of enthusiasm and ready to take on the world.  I had so many ideas and was fully energised to turn them all into a wonderful business that I could run from home and that would give me the income I had always dreamt of.

I would be able to work when I wanted, from where I wanted and to my own rules.  No more being told where I had to be, what I had to do, when I could take a break or when I could take a holiday.

Profits from the business would go into my pocket, not that of some faceless bodies sat in their ivory tower.  I would sing to my own tune and have both the financial and time freedom that I had always craved.

And here we are today, nearly 12 months down the road.  I have endlessly worked more hours than I ever have.  Weekends off with family are a distant memory and if I do get to spend time with them, every waking moment is worrying about the lack of sales and diminished bank account.

I have started numerous programs and flitted from one to other without results.

I have watched endless webinars, touched on what they have taught me, but never really put them fully into action, or if I did, the results didn’t come flooding in as expected.

I have about 16 unfinished business books my bedside as I jump from one new idea to the other.

This morning I woke up feeling exhausted, drained and tired of trying so hard for so little return.

I’m tired of making excuses to my husband that the money will come in time

The first thing I did was go online and skimmed through available jobs and now just want to cry.  I don’t want to go back there and admit defeat.

But maybe it’s time to face the facts that perhaps I’m simply not good enough and I don’t have what it takes.

Why does everyone else make it look so easy whilst I struggle so much?.

So, what are my choices today?  Do I keep struggling on or do I admit defeat?

I just want to sit down and cry.  I just want to let it all out to someone who will listen and not judge.  I don’t want another ‘discovery call’ with a coach who is simply out to sell me something.  I just want someone to understand what I am going through so that I don’t feel so desperately alone.

Dear Diary


Phew!  There we have it.

This was an entry from diary back in 2007.  A lot has happened over the last 10 years.  But does this resonate with anyone else out there today?  If this is you, I beg you, don’t suffer alone.  I have been there and done it.  I am one of the lucky ones who has come out the other side.  But it wasn’t easy. (I had to go back and get a 9-5 job after this entry but came back fighting again with many lessons learnt).

I got suckered into to paying for ‘high level’ coaching that simply wasn’t worth the money and left me feeling more deflated than before. I spent a small fortune that I couldn’t afford with promises of great returns that never came to fruition.

I know what you are going through.

I run my business today because I genuinely want to help people.  Believe it or not, it’s not all about the money for me.  I am in a privileged place now where money isn’t an issue for me.  Yes, I still like to earn enough to afford me the little luxuries in life but I also have the flexibility to give something back.

So if you are suffering, come have a chat with me.  I will listen.  I won’t judge.  I will help if I can and if that is what you want.  There will zero sales spiel.  That is not what this is about.  This is me giving something back.

As a lovely lady said to me recently:

“You’re support and genuine caring is much appreciated in so many ways – thank you – I am gaining confidence by the day, I am continually making progress and continually remaining positive x x x.”

Drop me a message in the strictest of confidence if you would like a shoulder to lean on or an ear that will listen.

Much love

Angie xx

Please follow and like:
Angie’s ramblings – Am I confident or mad?

Angie’s ramblings – Am I confident or mad?

Is this a sign of confidence or madness?

I am talking to myself!!!

Oh dear!  Do you talk to yourself too?

I have found myself more and more frequently talking to myself.

When my family come home at the end of the day, they regularly tell me I ramble on randomly and they have no idea what I am talking about or who to.

I apparently seem to be getting worse over the years which I can only put down to working from home on my own with no one else to talk to but myself.

I find myself reprimanding myself if I make a mistake with something.  I jump up and do some whoop whoops when something goes fantastically well.  I tell myself off out loud when I find myself procrastinating.  I tell myself to buck myself and that I CAN do it when faced with a particular challenge that I am struggling with.

All to the amusement of my faithful dog who joins in at times of excitement as she misconstrues this as being time for a walk!

This all sounds rather innocent but the frightening thing is I realise I am turning into my mother.  She constantly talks to herself and it used to baffle me as to why she did it.  I thought she was turning mad and now I am doing the same thing.

So, why do we really talk to ourselves?  When I started looking this up on the internet the word ‘psychiatrist’ and ‘counselling’ popped up too much for my liking along with feelings of loneliness etc.  People in movies who talk to themselves have been portrayed as being eccentric and suffering mental illness.

As I only talk to myself at home and not out in public (I think!!), I don’t really believe I am going mad (although many would argue with me).  I just like to believe that talking to oneself is thinking out loud.

I found a note from a study conducted by Dr Adam Winsler of George Mason University who deduced that children who talked to themselves were more confident and participated more actively during class compared to their more introverted peers.  He deduced that by chatting with themselves, they were able to put their problems into perspective and reflect upon their actions.

So that’s the theory that I am sticking with!

Tell me, do you talk to yourself when working from home?

Please follow and like: