by Angela Taffs | Mar 17, 2015 | Personal and Lifestyle, Running a Business
Anger can be triggered by a wide variety of things which will be different to each and every one of us.
Certain situations will limit our ability to control our anger such as being tired, having consumed too much alcohol or having had a stressful day at work.
If we can try to identify what angers us and avoid these triggers, then we should be able to control our anger more effectively.
If however you find yourself in a situation which makes you angry, try the following simple ways on how to control anger and lessen your stress.
Breathe deeply
Breathing deeply can help you clear your mind and see things from a calmer perspective. It will help slow down your heart rate and bring back a feeling of calm
Visualise
Pick an image that makes you feel calm. Think back to a holiday when you were lying in the sun totally relaxed. Think of a favourite walk in the woods that you love. Think of listening to the sound of the rain whilst you are sat reading a book. Try to focus on that image to bring back a feeling of calm to your mind.
Count to 10 before you speak
Speaking in anger can exacerbate the situation, causing the other person to react in an adverse way towards you which in turn increases your anger. Try not to say anything at all until you have your anger under control. The simple act of counting to ten really can help.
Walk away
Following on from the above tip, walking away from a situation until you have calmed down can be the most sensible option. When you feel calm again you can then return and deal with the situation in a controlled manner.
Put things in perspective
So someone has cut you up in rush hour traffic. Does it really matter in the great scheme of things that you will be 20 seconds later at your arrival point? Someone has been rude to you and you feel insulted. Does it really matter what they think? Are you going to be seeing them on a regular basis and do you really value their opinion?
Always remember that there are far more important things going on in the world that you could spend your energy worrying about. There are children with life threatening illnesses and horrific wars going on. Don’t contribute to any more unnecessary anger in the world.
Think of the situation from the other person’s point of view
We find it all too easy to just focus on our own feelings. Try to think of it from the other person’s point of view. Did they simply misread a signal? If so, calmly and clearly explain that you are sorry if they saw it this way but that is how you saw it/meant it. Are they just having an incredibly bad day? Have they just come from a stressful meeting with their boss? Have they just discovered someone close to them ill? Most people don’t get angry for the sheer fun of it. There is always an underlying factor which will have contributed. So try to find out what that is to help both you and them deal with the situation.
Speak slowly and calmly in a soft tone
This will help the other person calm themselves also. If you shout, they are likely to shout louder. Softening your tone can help them come to their senses and lower their tone also. Just the tone of your voice can have a calming effect. Don’t rise to the bait. Stay in control.
Vent your anger
Find somewhere to go on your own and vent your anger in a controlled manner. This could be as simple as going for a hard run, going to the gym for a workout, using a pillow as a punch bag or going into the garage and having a good scream
Write it down
Vent your anger on a piece of paper. Write down what and who have made you angry and why. Write down your feelings. Let it all out. This can be a therapeutic way of getting everything out of your system and then being able to assess the situation logically.
So next time you feel your blood boiling, take a moment to stop and really consider if your anger is going to contribute to a successful solution to the situation you are in. Try the simple ways above on how to control anger and keep it under control. You will feel so much better in the long run if you do.
by Angela Taffs | Mar 12, 2015 | Personal and Lifestyle
Live like it’s heaven on earth
So I saw this picture this morning of Lady Avalon, Lady of the lake
It made me think of the quote by Vivian Greene
“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
That made me think of the quote by Willian Purkey
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
by Angela Taffs | Mar 9, 2015 | Personal and Lifestyle
The basic essentials to make the most of yourself and look good at all times
When you are running your own business, you are literally the face of your business. Whether we like it or not, how we look can have an impact on how people perceive our business.
For example, a beautician who goes out without make up, with chipped nails and looking scruffy will not paint such a good advertisement for her business as one who is well groomed.
So what key areas do you need to think about when representing your business?
Hair.
Have regular hair cuts to keep your hair in good shape. Leaving any cut any longer than 12 weeks will result in dry, scraggy ends with no style definition that just gets harder and harder to look good. Find a style that is easy for you to maintain and always have a backup plan for a bad hair day, whether that is to tie it up in scrunchie or get out the straighteners.
Skin.
Wear sun block at all times. Always follow a daily routine of cleanse, tone and moisturise. Ensure that you find a product that suits your skin type. Go to a professional beauty counter for advice. Don’t just follow the trends of your friends or the latest article in a magazine.
Healthy Eating.
The old adage ‘you are what you eat’ is so true and when you have a balanced diet, it shows. This makes you feel good inside and this feeling radiates to your appearance. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and avoid those that have plenty of preservatives. This will aid your energy levels which we all need to have at the highest level when running our own business.
Dress well.
Find a style that suits you and is comfortable. Don’t just follow the fashion trends because they look good on the model. Unless you have the exact figure, height and colouring undoubtedly the outfit will look totally different on you. Try new styles and take advice from friends. How you see yourself can differ greatly from how others see you. Find colours that suit your skin tone and hair and stick with these as the main colour for your outfits. This doesn’t mean that a dog groomer need go out and buy a Chanel suit but it does mean they can look neat and professional.
Be nice.
This is the most effective way to look good, if you are nice to other people, they will appreciate you no matter how you look. They will neither remember whether your hair was coiffured or windswept or whether your nail varnish was chipped and flaking. They will only remember how you were with them and how you made them feel.
It is important for anyone to look good. Having a well styled hair and smooth skin will surely add up to your self-esteem. It is also important to have a healthy diet in looking good. If you are healthy, you will have a natural glow and will always feel good inside. Having a nice set of clothes on will also do the trick, but the simplest most important way to look good is to have a positive attitude towards other people.
Follow these simple ways to look good and also feel better, and more confident, about yourself.
by Angela Taffs | Mar 6, 2015 | Personal and Lifestyle
Do you make these simple mistakes when attending a workshop?
Recently I attended a full day technology workshop and during the course of the day I decided that apart from giving out the usual housekeeping rules at the start, such as fire drills, where the toilets were etc, there should be some rules given out about etiquette.
I went to the event as I wanted to learn something new and refresh my knowledge. The incredibly talented @mrmattyoung was the speaker and what he doesn’t know about social media isn’t worth knowing.
So I found it incredibly annoying not to be able to fully concentrate with the amount of distraction from other attendees in the room. From constant chattering (quite simply rude), to constant coughing (quite simply irritating) and ringing of mobiles (quite simply unnecessary) there were too many people who were not aware of the rules of etiquette when attending a workshop.
As I couldn’t find any rules of etiquette readily available to hand out to future attendees at events, I have created some of my own.
Coughing
If you have a cough that is constant, either leave the room or at the very least, move to the back of the room to give those sitting in front a chance of hearing something the speaker is saying. To sit at the front of the room and to constantly and persistently cough and splutter deprives others sat further back of hearing what is being said by the speaker. If you have a bit of a tickle before the event, always arm yourself with copious amounts of cough sweets and a large bottle of water.
Sneezing
Sneezing and blowing of nose. The same rules apply as above (apart from taking cough sweets with you as I have never known these to work with sneezing). Apart from the obvious distraction and irritancy of someone constantly sneezing, it is also concerning as to the amount of germs that are being spread. And unless you are discreet, loud nose blowing that ends up sounding like Nellie the elephant trying to audition for X-factor can reduce other attendees into fits of giggles and disrupt the whole room.
Mobile phones
If you are going to a technology event it is highly likely that you will have some basic knowledge or interest in the subject matter before attending. Therefore, I suspect it highly likely that you know how to turn your phone to silent. So do it!!! No one else cares how important you are that you have to keep your phone on just in case the President of the USA decides to call and ask for your advice. If you are expecting an urgent call, just use the silent button and then discreetly remove yourself from the room if your phone starts to flash up with an incoming call. But please, if possible, turn the thing off and put in your bag or out of sight. If you constantly keep checking it to see if you have that missed call from the White House then you won’t truly be focusing on what the speaker is saying and may miss a valuable point.
Go with an open mind
If you think you know everything already and are not prepared to listen to new ideas, then why waste time and money attending an event? I have been to many events where I have been in earshot of people who blatantly state that they don’t agree and are not going to try something. Firstly, if they went with an open mind and listened to what was being said and thought about why it obviously worked for others, they may be able to find ways the subject could work for them also.
But secondly, and possibly more pertinent, try just keeping negative opinions to yourself as if you are so rude as to openly disagree and state that something will not work, others around may start to have doubts and miss out on new opportunities for themselves.
At the technology event I attended, cloud computing was being discussed by the speaker. Someone not far from me was blatantly stating that the cloud should not be used or trusted. Whilst anyone with experience would realise they were talking nonsense, the person sitting next to them without any experience would have had their view of the speaker compromised in an entirely unfair and unjustified manner.
Keep conversations to the break
If you prefer to have personal chats with people rather than listen to the speaker, then either don’t turn up to the event or leave the room if you are just not interested in what is being said. When you decide to whisper to others around you, this causes distraction to not only the person you are speaking to, but also others within earshot. It is being blatantly rude to the speaker and whilst they won’t be able to hear what you are saying, believe me, they will pick up on what you are doing and it will cause them distraction also.
So there are my etiquette tips for when you are next attending a workshop. You may agree or disagree. But just consider others around you and the effect you may be having on them when you let your manners slip.
by Angela Taffs | Mar 4, 2015 | Business Success, Personal and Lifestyle
What do you do when you have a decision to make? How do you make decisions? A big one at that. One that could have serious implications on the future. Are you just not too sure what to do and are scared of making the wrong choice. So what to do.
How do successful people make decisions?
Successful people make decisions and quite often make them fast. They may be in situations where a decision has to be made immediately and they are fully aware that the worst possible thing for them to do is procrastinate and not make a decision at all. After all, any decision is better than no decision.
Procrastination and indecision will cause more problems than making a ‘wrong’ decision and the problems we will then have to deal with afterwards. By doing nothing, the indecision will prey on our minds and blur our thinking. Consider a piece of paper. You don’t know where to put it so you put it on a pile on the kitchen counter. Another piece arrives and the same happens. Before you know it, the pile has grown and there is no room for anything else on the counter without it all spilling on to the floor. The same will happen with your mind. Cluttering your mind with indecision will remove the room for positive creative thought and it will become dimmed and your energy drained.
How to make decisions
Sleep on it
This is incredibly powerful. Before going to bed write down the problem or situation you need to make a decision about. Just before you go to sleep, ask yourself ‘What is the right decision for me’ or ‘what is the solution’ The power of the subconscious can be seriously underestimated and by doing this, it is amazing how you will awake in the morning with a clear solution.
Stop thinking about it
By consistently thinking and worrying about the problem, the mind becomes blurred and you become stressed. Try to clear the problem from your mind and think about something else. You may just be surprised when at the most unexpected moment the light bulb comes on and the solution is staring you in the face.
Test out the decision
So consider the implications of the different outcomes dependant on different decisions. Don’t concentrate on the immediate effects but look into the future, 6 or 12 months ahead. What will the situation look like then based on each possible decision. Looking at longer implications can help us with short term decision making.
Go connect with nature
Trying to make decisions in a high pressure environment can cause the wrong one to be taken. You will be surrounded by other things that will continue to demand your attention and pull you in different directions. Give yourself some time out and go connect with nature. It can have a very therapeutic effect and help you to think clearly once again. Go for a walk in the woods or sit by the river. Allow your mind to ‘breathe’ and have space. Often just a short period of time in the fresh air with no interruptions can help you to see clearly once again.
Start with the end in sight
What is the end result that you want to achieve? Too many times we start our decision making process by worrying about how we are going to do something, how we will afford it, how we will tell someone. Concentrate on the long term goal and work backwards. What do you want long term? Let that help you make the decision and you will then find ways to deal with all the other little things in the way once the big decision is out the way.
Write it down
Instead of keeping a jumble of ideas swirling around in your head, write them down. Get a sheet of paper, the larger the better, and some marker pens and just jot down whatever rambling thoughts spring to mind. They do need to be in any order. Just jot them all over the page. Pin the piece of paper up on the wall and leave it there for a few days (or whatever time restriction you have). As you walk past, add another thought however random. Let your mind run free. When ready sit down and reflect on all the different thoughts. You may surprise yourself with what ideas you come up with using this method.
Go with your gut feeling
Sometimes it can be as simple as tossing a coin if you have two options to choose from. Give a heads or tails to each option and see where the coin lands, then listen carefully to your gut reaction. How do you feel? Does it feel right? Many successful business people have made major decisions based on their gut reaction. Don’t’ be afraid to listen to yours.
So go put these tips into practice and make that decision once and for all. You will feel so much better once you have done it.
by Angela Taffs | Feb 26, 2015 | Business Success, Personal and Lifestyle
What can Madonna’s fall at the Brits teach us about business?
Last night, Madonna performed at the Brits. Doubtless she would have spent many hours rehearsing. Refining and practicing her routine only for a totally unseen incident to completely derail her. During her performance she had to untie a long cape she was wearing and at an exact moment, a chap holding the other end who could not see what was happening due to being Madonna’s back being turned on him, had to whip the cape from her back.
What happened was that the cape was tied too tight and was not undone when it was whipped off her. This resulted in her being violently pulled backwards down a flight of steps, landing heavily on her back in front of hundreds in the audience and millions of television viewers.
What happened next was the crucial point for me. After a couple of what appeared to be awfully long seconds, Madonna pulled herself awkwardly to her feet but then carried on as though nothing had happened.
So how does Madonna’s fall relate to business?
Madonna proved herself to be a true professional. She had planned everything perfectly, had a huge support team around her to help her and then an unforeseen incident took her crashing to rock bottom (literally). She had two choices at this point.
- She could have felt sorry for herself, hugely embarrassed and whimpered off into the shadows to lick her wounds and the show would have been over for her. People may have felt sorry for her but they were likely to have talked about her downfall when her name was mentioned in the future as that was their lasting impression.
- She assessed the situation with lightening quick speed, picked herself up, dusted herself off and just simply got on with it. She held her head up high and proved herself to be the ultimate professional. People now when they talk her about her downfall are also likely to talk about how professional she is and what an inspiration she is. She will have gone up in the estimation of many.
And this is what happens so often in business.
Something comes and kicks us in the teeth and all the hard work and effort we have put in to building our business suddenly seems pointless. All our careful planning and preparation has been for nothing. We feel sorry for ourselves and feel we just can’t go on any more. We go hide in the shadows until the embarrassment of failure has died down a little and then gradually try to bring ourselves back out in to the open world.
What successful business owners do when faced with adversity is exactly the same as Madonna. They quickly assess the situation, identify what has happened and what they can do to salvage the situation. They pick themselves up instantly and just get on with it once again. No moaning, no whining, no feeling sorry for themselves.
And then they learn from their mistakes to ensure they don’t happen again. They don’t look upon any hiccup in business as a failure. They look at it as a learning curve. I am sure that if Madonna ever wears a cape on stage again she will either have checked it is more loosely tied or she will have a false tie with a Velcro fastening.
So what would you have done in a situation like Madonna’s? Have you hit a situation where you feel you have been treated unfairly and your business has failed? What choice did you, or will you make? Don’t be so quick to feel sorry for yourself and blame the situation for the failure or demise of your business. Use the opportunity to learn a lesson, pick yourself up and get on with it for another day. Act like a true professional. Act like Madonna!
